The 6 creepiest sex dolls(You won’t believe #6 is real).

Sex Dolls come in all shapes and sizes, from the uber-realistic, to the cartoonishly outlandish. But they all have one thing in common: they’re boundlessly weird.

Here’s 5 home-made versions(including one that actually was produced and sold online for a short while) that run the gamut of creativity and creepiness.

1. The Severed Headgina

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Just in case you’ve ever wanted to know what it felt like to furiously pork a detatched skull, here it is! Complete with dead-faced expression, so you can really know what it’s like to give it to the larynx of a head that has been removed from its rightful place on a person’s shoulders. I gotta hand it to the inventor, though, this is truly a pinnacle of inventiveness and imagination. I know my first thought isn’t to make a head that also doubles as a vagina. Thanks, Japan!

2. Mr. Jack With Mustache.

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So…uhh…there’s this sex doll. It’s a mouth. A man’s mouth. A man’s mouth that appears to be filled with stalactites and stalagmites that would completely eviscerate your average dong. It’s a man’s mouth that appears to be filled with stalactites and stalagmites that would completely eviscerate your average dong — with a mustache.

Let’s file this under “ideas that should have died in the womb”. I’m not sure exactly what the hell was running through the guy’s head who invented this horrific product of a grotesque imagination, but I gotta hand it to them — they nailed the “lonely gay dudes with an affinity for moustached mouths containing a series of plastic spikes”

Somehow this thing got a short release on the Internet, before (shockingly) being pulled from shelves when people realized they didn’t want to fuck a spikey replica of the bottom half of Burt Reynolds’ face.

3. The Bootygirl.

So this lonely soul created a sex doll…that’s a headless sweatshirt-covered skeleton with a sofa cushion packed in for an ass. The weird sniffling and heavy breathing. The Chinese/Jewish accent. The creepy, white, tiny bed. This video’s really got it all.

This one’s quite weird largely because of the aforementioned breathing that reminds you of the dude from Hey Arnold who would always appear over Helga’s shoulder whenever she was monologuing her Arnold-targeted affectations. That, and, well, you know — the fact that it’s basically a visage of a woman’s ass…and not much else.

At least he tells us it’s “very light weight” and he thinks it’s cool. The commenters agree, apparently, dropping such gems as “Jerking off”, “how do you make that ass” and “No more jerk off”. All in all, an enlightening and beautiful invention.

4. The Princess Sally.

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Gamers amongst us will recognize this one. Constructed from anatomically correct human bones, we have a gentleman whose love for Sonic’s on-again-off-again princess girlfriend, Sally, has reached a disgustingly realistic height.

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Yeah, we’ve seen some weird shit on this list, but this one takes the cake so far, simply because of the raw reality of the situation. This man treats this anthropomorphic squirrel as his wife. Can you taste the loneliness throught he screen? I can.

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Not only does this gent have a Sally dressed up in lascivious positions, posing with various lingerie getups, but he also has gotten her involved with everyday girlfriend motions, such as the “oh, don’t mind me, just catching a few z’s before I have to leave for work”. Also, he’s gone for a selfie in one of his pictures, which further suggests the deep emotional connection this man has to a doll that he’s created to satiate his sexual desires.

If that final picture, the selfie, doesn’t creep you out, I ‘m not sure what will. I mean look at those eyes half-hidden behind that meticulously-crafted fur. You can almost see the human-like sadness.

5. The Lazy

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Okay, for starters, we gotta give props to this dude for his ingenuity. I mean, when all you’ve got lying around is a rubber glove, some plastic tubing, some masking tape and a few pictures of Milla Jovovich and Sarah Michelle Gellar, you make lemonade, right?

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While certainly not the most aesthetically pleasing  of the dolls on this list, from a purely structural point of view, this guy is an engineering prodigy.

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6. “Doodman”.

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So this dude — as many old-schoolers from 4chan might remember — came on a random thread and started bombing it with these pictures of his “wives”.  Basically, this guy makes giant furry bunnies, life size replicas of rabbits that he likes to put in a multitude of different, creepy poses and maneuvers.

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Since his explosion on 4chan(the whole community went into full meltdown, which is saying a lot about one of the darkest places outside of the deepweb), Doodman has taken on somewhat of a cult following. He’s got a terrifying website, a terrifying Youtube channel, even a whole subreddit devoted to “The Guy”.

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There’s not much more I can say about the Doodman, besides the fact that he is hands down the creepiest guy on this list. Even more so than the dude who created Princess Sally, in my mind, simply because he’s created several of these creepy abominations, whereas that dude has one receptacle of his loneliness. Also, the videos that Doodman makes with these dolls (stop-motion horror rides through the mind of the mentally diseased) really puts him on another level.

We salute you, Doodman.

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