When You’re Not In The Mood And She Is

When You're Not In The Mood And She Is

There’s that old cliché of her “having a headache” whenever you’re in the mood, but the truth is, low sex drive affects males as well. Especially as they get older and their testosterone production begins to decline. Low sex drive is often associated with depression. Either one can cause the other and can create a vicious cycle where the whole problem just makes itself worse. There are some simple things you can do to prevent losing interest in sex and if you know how to confront the problem when you are faced with it, you can lessen the negative psychological impact and reduce the likelihood it will happen in the future.

Turn off the TV. Television makes it easy for us to just zone out and turn off our minds. You might think that flipping channels is giving you emotional and mental stimulation, but parts of your brain actually shut down when you graze on TV. Instead of plopping down on the couch or bed at night and basking in that warm blue glow, find a game or project for you and your partner to work on in the evenings. Merely staying more active in the evenings will give you greater energy and increase your chances of being ready to go.

Change your environment. We all fall into routines. It could be that you aren’t as interested in sex because you’re just really bored. Get out of the house with your wife and go to a restaurant you’ve never been to before. Try new things together. Your willingness to experiment in other parts of your life will have a subconscious impact on your willingness to experiment in the bedroom.

Have a drink. A good glass of scotch could be just what you need to take the edge off. Overdo it though and it could only make it more difficult to achieve an erection. One or two drinks and you can perform at peak levels—any more than that and you are impairing your abilities. Wine is great to get you aroused because of the low alcohol per volume, allowing you to drink more while not getting as drunk.

Find out what you want. Your sexual depression could be caused by you not getting what you want in the bedroom. Is there something that you’ve been fantasizing about but haven’t been able to do? If you can’t communicate what you really want you are only going to be frustrated sexually, and over time that frustration can culminate in your losing interest all together.

Talk to her. Let her know that it is not an issue with her, but an issue with you and one that you need help with. Tell her what she can do to make things more exciting and get you interested again.

Get active. Sexual depression and depression in general have been strongly linked to sedentary lifestyles and people that are more active and get regular exercise generally have better moods and more satisfying sex. Get off the couch and make physical activity part of your daily routine. Not only will it give you increased energy, but exercising more will also boost your body’s free testosterone production which will have a direct impact on your libido.

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About Gerald Jeffers

Gerald Jeffers is an entertainment and men's health writer for Ask Men Answers. He holds a degree in Journalism from St. Paul University and has been with Ask Men Answers since 2011.

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